


In Your Head

by LeilaSmash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, G!p Lexa, NannyLexa, Non-Apocalypse AU, SingleMomClarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:29:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29740164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeilaSmash/pseuds/LeilaSmash
Summary: Clarke is a single mom living with her best friend Raven when she meets a brunette nanny that she can't get out of her head.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre
Comments: 45
Kudos: 313





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Clexa fic but I'm super excited about it, will be a multi chapter

“Madi! Stay on the grassy area where I can see you!” Clarke hollered after the bolting toddler, hoisting her go-bag higher on her shoulder and closed the hatch on her black SUV.

“I will Mommy!” The four-year-old called back, a wild mane of dark brown hair flying behind her as she ran towards the playground. She was an adventurous child, always testing her own limits but keeping within the rules; Clarke rarely had to worry about Madi running off or ignoring the big things. Like at the park, Clarke knew Madi would stay on the grassy area. She might climb to the top of the jungle gym by herself and give the other parents a heart attack, but she would damn well stay on the playground. 

Clarke spotted a free bench near the swings and dropped her bag down with a thud before doing the same. It was a beautiful, sunny spring day and she was lucky enough to have the afternoon off from the firm. She sat back and took a breath of fresh air, glad to be there instead of stuck in the office working on another pitch to sell idiotic things to idiotic people. 

There were a few other parents and nannies milling around the playground, most hovering over their charges as if they were the most breakable things in the world. Clarke didn’t parent that way and couldn’t bring herself to if she tried. Madi had been an explorer and a daredevil from the very start, constantly trying to do things meant for much older kids, and for the most part succeeding. She had a ridiculous amount of balance for her age and could always find the quickest and most efficient way to accomplish whatever goal she’d set her mind to. Sometimes the way her daughter soaked up information and immediately put it to use scared Clarke. The moment Madi saw her mother use a chair to reach a high shelf in the kitchen, the world opened up for her and nothing was safe from reach. Even as Clarke sat there, Madi was studying an older child on the rock wall, taking in every movement and decision the kid made, no doubt ready to apply the tactics on her turn.

“Madi, sure feet!” It was a silly thing Clarke had picked up from her own father years before, when he would take her hiking and rock climbing as a kid. Madi nodded, concentrating on her foot placement, easily scaling the rock wall and putting the older kid’s shaky movements to shame. A small, proud smile broke through on Clarke’s face, she couldn’t help it. Madi was always finding new ways to impress Clarke.

“I did it!” The tiny brunette thrust her arms up in victory then ran to the top of the slide. “Watch mommy!”

“I’m watching!’ Clarke called back, and Madi slid down head first, giggling the whole way. The blonde ignored the mildly worried looks from some of the parents, mostly helicopter moms. She gave her a thumbs-up. “Nice, kid!”

Clarke’s attention was brought to her phone in her lap, buzzing away with an incoming call. Finn was calling for the third time that day and for the third time Clarke ignored the call. He was persistent that’s for sure. Unless it was about work, she didn’t want to talk to him, and if it _was_ work, he could send a message to her work email like everyone else. 

She sighed and tucked her blonde hair behind her ears, eyes searching for Madi’s whereabouts. Finally they landed on two little kids half-buried in a hole under the monkey bars, one with a mop of dark brown. The other looked vaguely familiar, with dirty blonde locks cut just under her chin and a toothy grin. Both girls were covered head to toe in dirt, and Clarke observed the two whispering and plotting something. The other girl seemed to be a bit older which was right on par for Madi. She usually ended up playing with the older kids, finding that children her own age couldn’t keep up with her and weren’t nearly as chatty or interested in the elaborate games she made up. Clarke watched as a much smaller girl toddled over and sat on the edge of the hole, her bright blonde hair glowing in the sunshine. The dirty blonde looked up and said something Clarke couldn’t make out, and the tiny girl slid down in the hole, laughing and squealing as she disappeared from sight.

Content that Madi was safe and happy, Clarke’s attention went back to the particular problem of Finn and how their interactions were going to play out at work. She had always had a strong stance against dating coworkers and wasn’t shy about her opinions on the matter, so when Finn had asked her out one evening they had to stay late to finish a group of billboards set to launch the following week, she had been a little taken aback. Maybe it was the stress or the lack of sleep (Madi had had stints the last few months where she wouldn’t sleep at all for days it seemed) but Clarke had agreed to one date. One disastrous date. 

He had tried to pick her up from her house but Clarke staunchly refused and agreed to meet him at the restaurant he picked out instead. No way was she going to be reliant on anyone to get her home safely, she always drove her own car places. 

At the restaurant, they’d had stilted conversations at best, mostly about work and Finn hardly asked about her life outside of the office. He spent the majority of their time exalting his mediocre work and swiping his hair out of his face, going on some rant about how he was supposed to go work for the UN but was blocked by another candidate somehow (sounded more like he was never actually hired to Clarke). At first it had bothered Clarke, but the longer they spent together, the more she realized she didn’t _want_ him to ask her questions. She didn’t want him to know about her life, about Madi and Raven, about her dreams of a gallery all her own. He was nice enough, but not at all what she was looking for, if she even had standards at all (which she wasn’t sure she did these days). When the check came, she let him pay to avoid prolonging their date with an argument and rushed out, back to her daughter and the comfort of tiny arms wrapping around her neck as they rocked in the overstuffed nursery chair still in the little girl’s room. 

“Mommy! I made a bunker!” Clarke glanced back to the monkey bars where Madi and the other little girls were dragging large branches from the treeline to cover the hole in a criss-cross pattern, a much older girl of eight or nine joining in and pulling her own massive branch. She rolled her eyes with a grin, noting that maybe letting Madi watch _Doomsday Preppers_ with Raven wasn’t the best idea.

Curiously, there was now a young woman sitting on the bench closest to the monkey bars, eyes covered by large sunglasses and a baseball cap pulled low, watching the group of girls intently. Clarke would have gotten creeper vibes if not for the fact that the oldest girl kept yelling things over to the woman happily, who nodded and smiled back. That left Clarke with a feeling of intrigue; was she a celebrity? Or maybe in hiding? Who was she to the girls, because she didn’t really look like any of the three playing with Madi. In fact she probably had more in common with Madi than her playmates.

Her phone buzzed again, Finn obviously not taking the hint, and she dismissed the call once more, cursing herself for letting him take her on a second date just because she had a personal rule that everyone deserves a second chance. ONE second chance, and the second date with Finn had been just as dispassionate as the first. He took her to a soccer game (not even a sport she liked, let alone followed) and then to a dive bar called Murphy’s that he swore had the best wings (not even close) where he tried to show off playing darts and managed to hit Murphy himself in the shoulder. Clarke soaked up as much booze as she could, paid half the tab, and took a Lyft back to her house where her best friend Raven met her at the door. After assuring her that Madi had been nothing short of her usual slightly terrifying and awesome self, they continued to drink and lament the idiocy of dating men, and agreed women were much better.

“Mommy look, this is my new friend Maggie. And that’s her big sister Delilah, and her little sister Dory.” Madi was holding Maggie’s hand and dragging her to the bench where Clarke sat, the other girl struggling to keep up with the smaller girl’s pace. Clarke held out her hand and Maggie shook it enthusiastically.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Margaret Grace Collins, but you can call me Maggie. I’m five!” Maggie announced proudly. “I really like playing with Madi. We have to go home now, can she play with us tomorrow?”

“Please, Mommy? Please Please Pleeeease?!” Madi jumped up and down, with her hands on Clarke’s knees. Clarke thought about her schedule the next day. Technically since it would be Friday, she could skip out early again and come to the park, but that was assuming Maggie would actually be at the park then too.

“Maybe, I’ll have to talk to your...” Clarke motioned to the woman from the bench, who was now heading their direction across the playground.

“Miss Lexa! That’s Miss Lexa, she takes care of us!” Maggie supplied, and waved the woman over. 

Clarke took a silent appraisal of the form coming their way, in a more objectifying manner than she would ever admit to out loud and the woman was so far aesthetically pleasing.

“Maggie, we have to head back to the house now, it’s almost naptime for Dory.” The commanding voice that came from such a slim and unassuming figure startled Clarke a bit, but Maggie only nodded and took hold of Miss Lexa’s arm, pulling her forward much like Madi had done earlier. 

“Miss Lexa, this is Madi’s mommy. She said maybe Madi can play at the park with us tomorrow! We are coming tomorrow right?” The dirty blonde put on her biggest smile and aimed it at her nanny, hoping for the best. Miss Lexa seemed to contemplate this for a moment.

“I suppose we shall see if you accomplish all your schoolwork in time to visit the park.” Miss Lexa’s words were nearly drowned out by the high-pitched squealing coming from the two little girls, though the nanny didn’t seem to be affected by it at all. Something about her voice resonated within Clarke’s brain but she couldn’t quite place it, like a word at the tip of her tongue, just out of reach. “Alright Maggie, say goodbye to Madi and Mrs…”

“Clarke, _Miss_ Clarke. First name and not married, definitely not. Not dating anyone either.” The blonde wasn’t really sure why she felt the need to emphasize that she was single, but it jumped out of her mouth. She found herself wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole as she felt a blush creep across her cheeks. The brunette woman took little notice if any, as her other two charges ran up to the little group.

“Miss Lexa! Did you see the- the- what did you call it, Madi?” The older sister Delilah spoke animatedly and at a mile a minute, saving Clarke from the embarrassing moment. 

“A bunker. Everyone should have a bunker in case the world ends.” Madi explained matter-of-factly with her little hands planted on her hips. Clarke redden all over again for a very different reason. Her daughter had very strong ideas about the world, no doubt influenced by the way Clarke tended to be very open and honest whenever Madi had a question. 

“Yeah, bunker! It’s really cool and I hope no kids destroy it when we leave.” Delilah gave a forlorn look over her shoulder at the monkey bars and the certainly not super obvious bunker they had constructed. The nanny handed the two older girls the light jackets she had been toting and picked up the youngest, placing her on her hip without thought. 

“One can only hope. We must be off ladies, before Dory starts to get cranky.” She took hold of Maggie’s hand with her free one and nodded Clarke’s direction. “It was nice to meet you, maybe we will see you tomorrow. Have a good evening Miss Clarke.”

And they were gone in what seemed like the blink of an eye. 

The whole encounter seemed odd to Clarke, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of deja-vu she had when the nanny spoke to her. Clarke spaced out a little, trying to rack her brain for anything that might shake loose, but was brought back to reality by something poking her cheek.

“Mooooommm. Mom. Mom!” Madi was gently tapping her mother’s face with a stick she must have procured when building the bunker. Clarke grabbed it playfully and poked her daughter back, pulling a giggle from the girl. 

“What is it, you little terror?” The blonde jokingly scowled and pointed the stick at a laughing Madi.

“I’m hungry, can we get pizza?” Clarke chuckled at her only child, knowing that the kid would do anything for a good slice of pizza. Or even a bad one sometimes. 

“Kid, if I wasn’t so sure already you were mine, that right there would convince me.” Clarke shouldered her bag, grabbed Madi’s hand, and led her to the parking lot.

  
  


They arrived home around eight, Clarke having been convinced to get ice cream after pizza, and then to the pier to feed the ducks. Madi had started to nod off in her carseat on the way back and Clarke had to pull out the big guns and blast songs from Madi’s favorite movies to keep her awake. No way was she going to let her take a nap that late in the day and she needed a good clean before heading to bed.

“Into the bath with you! And please put your shoes in the closet!” Clarke called out, gathering any trash she could hold from the car and tossing it in the outside can on her way in. She may not have had the cleanest car, but she did her best to at least keep trash out. 

Inside the house, Raven was camped out on the long couch in the living room watching her favorite show _How It’s Made_ and shoveling leftover lo mein in her mouth. She lifted her chopsticks in greeting and pointed to the staircase. “She went that way.”

“Good, she’s filthy from making a ‘bunker’ with her new friends under the monkey bars at the playground.” Clarke dropped her bag off on the kitchen counter and slipped her shoes off in the mud room bin. She could faintly hear Madi humming and the sounds of clothes being tossed in the wash bin in the hall.

“So less _Doomsday Preppers_ and more _Arthur_ from now on?” Raven quipped with a grin.

“Much less. Maybe need to cut her off for a while before she starts stashing boxes of mac and cheese in the air vents.” Rushing water could be heard in the bathroom at the top of the stairs and the hummed melody had evolved into a full-fledged rendition of ‘Into the Unknown’. Clarke settled next to her best friend/roommate and through her feet up on the coffee table, laying her head on Raven’s shoulder. 

“Otherwise good trip out today? She seemed happy coming in.” Raven unpaused her show and the narrator resumed explaining the dipping process for making motorcycle helmets different colors.

“I guess. She made some friends and we are supposed to maybe meet them at the park again tomorrow afternoon.” The blonde stuck her fingers in the takeout box and stole a noodle, tilting her head back to drop it in her mouth. Licking her fingertips, she thought about the strange nanny and how she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d heard that voice before. 

“So no questions about her sperm donor today?” Raven turned her torso away from Clarke in an attempt to block her from stealing more noodles but Clarke tickled her side with one hand while stealing another noodle with the other. “Hey! Get your own!”

“That was my own you mooch!” 

“Oh right.”

“And no. No questions today.” Madi had been preoccupied with finding out who her other parent was and Clarke didn’t really know how to handle it. She had tried to never lie to her daughter about anything and so far it wasn’t difficult to stick to that, or at least it hadn’t been until she started preschool and they had done projects on their family trees. “I don’t know what to tell her Rae. Part of me just wants to make something up so she stops asking.”

“Might be better than telling her you have no clue cause you were a big whore back then.” The dark brunette ducked as Clarke chucked a throw pillow at her.

“Not cool! And I was not, I just was a bit.. blackout drunk.” Clark sighed, and scrubbed her face with her hand. “I remember bits but they don’t make sense.”

“Yeah, well, maybe he’ll just show up one day and whisk you away like a fairytale prince. And you’ll live happily ever after in a big castle with horses and servants and not a care in the world.” Her roommate barely kept a straight face as she imitated a Disney princess, batting her eyes and lifting her eyebrows. Clark heard the water stop upstairs and hoisted herself up from the couch.

“Where would that leave you? Who would you constantly annoy and steal food from then?” Clarke bopped Raven on the head with her hand as she passed behind the couch on the way to the stairs.

“You’re right, I would starve! Nevermind, you have to stay here. No Prince Charming for you!” 

“Who needs one anyway!” Laughing as she reached the second floor, Clarke grabbed one of the hooded towels shaped like animals and prepared mentally for wrangling her little one out of the bath and into her pajamas. 

  
  


Six books and a whisper-sung rendition of Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah’ later, and Madi was lightly snoring amongst her carefully selected stuffed animal companions. Clarke stuck her head over the rail to see that Raven had already headed to her room for the night; she usually had to be at work by six to start doing pre-flight checks on the planes. The dark brunette worked for a smaller airport where individuals could store their planes and some commercial lines came through. She was second to the main mechanic, which left her with the same responsibilities as the main mechanic but a shit shift from six am to three pm. The one upside was that it allowed Clarke to essentially have free childcare in the afternoons.

Clarke wandered to her own bedroom, knocking on Raven’s door as she went by to say goodnight. Raven was climbing into bed and blew her an exaggerated kiss. The blonde pretended to catch it and toss it on the ground, before picking it up, ‘dusting it off’, and sticking it in her pocket for later. Raven feigned offense and flipped her the bird. It was silly, but it was how they’d always been.

Changing into her own night clothes of sweatpants and a soft t-shirt, Clarke heard her phone buzz with a text and let out an exasperated sigh. As she thought, it was Finn.

**Finn (9:32 pm):** call me? i thought we had a fun time and wanted to see if you would go out with me again

**Clarke (9:34 pm):** I’m not looking to get involved with anyone right now. See you tomorrow at work. 

  
She wanted to tell him exactly how boring she thought he was. The only thing stopping her was the fact that she would have to see him everyday no matter what happened outside of work. She had a feeling if she told him the truth, he would turn into a whiny little boy and make work hell. Clarke grabbed her book off the nightstand and climbed into bed. The aches of the day settled over her and she did her best to read a few pages before succumbing to sleep. She dreamed of brunette hair and a commanding voice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madi likes squirrels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey!  
> I'm completely shocked at the response to this. My wife even said "Are you sure it isn't just smut this time?" lol  
> But for real you guys, I'm humbled. I'm so used to writing for a much smaller fandom and even though it's my youngest's birthday today, I thought I'd treat you guys.  
> Ta!  
> -Leila

The beeping of her phone alarm at 7:30am drew Clarke out of a rather confusing dream. She’d been immersed in weird snippets of her past all mashed together like a mixed-up photo album and she couldn’t make sense of any of it. When the screech of the alarm interrupted the chaotic dream, she’d been relieved, especially when she remembered it was Friday. Her arms and legs were tangled in her sheets, the comforter tossed off the far side of the bed. She had three texts (from Finn which she promptly deleted) and two missed calls, one from Finn, one from the front desk at work. Clarke untangled herself and hit callback on the front desk number.

“Arkadia Marketing Solutions, this is Harper, how may I help you?” A sweet voice came through the speaker as Clarke hurriedly made her bed, knowing there must be some sort of urgent problem. Since Raven had gotten promoted, Clarke was used to rolling into work around 9:30 so she could drop Madi at preschool, and making up the time on the back end while Raven held down the fort at home in the afternoons.

“Harp this is Clarke, did you call me?”

“Clarke, thank god! The Wallace Corp liaison called. Apparently, the CEO’s son got a hold of the pitch for their new product launch and convinced his father it was garbage. Now Wallace senior is demanding we re-do the campaign from scratch!” Harper dropped the customer service tone and her voice was strained. Clarke could tell she’d been trying to handle things herself and the stress was getting to her. 

“I hate that guy. He looks like he would host a dinner party while keeping a dungeon of child sacrifices. Hell, they both do. I can be there in thirty but I’m going to have to bring Madi with me, the preschool doesn’t open until 9. You up for watching her?” Clarke carried her phone into the bathroom, setting it on the counter to take what her roommate called ‘a whore’s bath’ in the sink. She was thanking all the gods that she still had just enough dry shampoo left to see her through the morning. There was no way she could get away with not washing her hair for a third day without it. 

“You know I love the little monster, but for my sake, and the sake of the rest of the office, please no toy swords this time. I don’t think Monty has recovered and we do want to try for kids one of these days.” Harper laughed good-naturedly.

Monty and Harper both went to college with Clarke and Raven, and had been married a year. Madi thought of them as her aunt and uncle, and spent weekends at their house every so often. Clarke always joked that Madi was their ‘practice kid’, a notion she could tell made Monty extremely anxious at times, particularly when Madi did or said something peculiar.

“No promises. I swear she always seems to have a sword or a slingshot or a bow somewhere on her person. I’ve gotten way too many calls from the preschool and picked up way too many confiscated items. Raven wanted to get her a Nerf Bazooka for Christmas and I put my foot down on that one.” Her favorite khaki slacks were in the dirty clothes and after a few minutes of searching for something clean and matching, Clarke said fuck it and threw on a pair of jeans with a Guns’n’Roses t-shirt under a worn brown leather jacket. It was Casual Friday and she was going to take full advantage. “Alright, I’m going to go wake her up. I’ll see you soon!”

She zipped up her jeans as she walked down the hall to Madi’s room, knowing she was probably already up and building a fort in her room. Or lining up her stuffed animals for a battle. Or playing zombies. _‘Seriously need to put a content restriction on Raven.’_

“Madi, we have to get going, we’re in a hurry this morning. You’re gonna spend some time with Aunt Harper while Mommy sorts out a work problem. Are you dressed?” Clarke stuck her head in Madi’s room and was unsurprised to find a pile of wooden bricks stacked up to make a three foot wall down the middle of the room. A little head poked out near the dresser.

“I have on pants, does that count?” Madi’s toothy grin was wide and she pulled off her homemade black war mask, twirling in on her finger by the elastic band.

“Are they the same pants you wore to bed?” Clarke asked as she stepped all the way in, making her way over the piles of extra wooden blocks to the closet.

“Maybe.” Madi ducked back behind the wall and resumed her whispered battle strategies.

“Then no, that doesn’t count. Come on out, we really do have to get going kid.” The blonde selected a simple black t-shirt and jeans, and tossed them over the barricade. “Get some underwear from your dresser and meet me downstairs in five, okay?”

“Yes, sir, Commander, sir!” Madi popped back up to mock salute her, closing her fist and thumping it on her chest over her heart. Clarke rolled her eyes as she exited back into the hallway to head downstairs.

“I told you not to call me that, silly goose! And brush your hair!”

Clarke pulled into her usual parking space at 8:06, tossing a snack bag over one shoulder and her work case across her chest as she made her way around to let Madi out. “Okay kiddo, here’s the deal: You behave for Aunt Harper and I will make sure you get to go to the park today to see your new friends. Sound fair?”

Madi nodded her head, her mouth full of mini muffins. Clarke unbuckled the squirming girl and barely had her on the ground when she bolted toward the front door of the office building. Harper met her at the glass door, pretending to be surprised to see her, and ushered the ball of energy inside with a wave to Clarke. The blonde’s phone went off in her work bag and she chose to ignore it, ninety percent certain it was Finn again. She was not in a hurry to deal with that and took her time walking into the building.

“Okay, send the new sketch-ups to Miller in Illustration and run the taglines by Echo in Content. Anyone have anything else that needs to be adjusted?” Clarke leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, praying no one would have an issue. When no one spoke up, she dismissed her team and sighed, tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling. It had been a long, stressful morning. 

She had had to call an emergency meeting straight away, which had turned out mostly productive, minus Finn sulking in the corner and barely saying a word. That suited Clarke just fine. The meeting progressed without him, and not for the first time she wondered what he even contributed to the company. _‘I guess if we need the point of view of a broody tool, he’s our guy.’_

The following three hours saw Clarke flitting back and forth between different departments, trying to bring to life the changes necessary to a pitch they had all worked weeks on, while doing her best to keep up morale. She swore if she saw either of the Wallace men, she would push them off the fourth floor balcony. 

Clarke’s stomach gurgled loudly in protest of skipping breakfast _and_ lunch. Her phone buzzed and she lazily reached over to tap the screen, hoping it wasn’t Mr. Broody asking for another date again.

**Harper Green (1:07pm): Hey we stopped at the Greek place on the way back from our walk around the block. Do you want us to bring you back anything?**

She really should talk to Kane about giving Harper a raise. 

**Clarke (1:08pm): God yes. Can I get my usual? Is she behaving? Tell me she didn’t catch a pigeon this time.**

**Harper Green (1:10pm): Got it. As far as behaving, I can solidly say she hasn’t caught a pigeon.**

That couldn’t be good. 

**Clarke (1:12pm): Please say she didn’t catch something else.**

Harper didn’t respond. Clarke tried really hard not to read into that.

Twenty minutes later, Clarke could hear her tiny warrior talking Harper’s ear off, and could see through the glass walls that her little hands were clutching a small shoebox gingerly. The blonde started gathering up the work she would need to take home, prepping for whatever chaos was about to be dropped in her lap. Madi burst in the conference room a few moments later, a huge smile on her face.

“Mom! I found a baby squirrel in the storm drain!” Madi set the shoebox on the table and carefully opened the top. Sure enough, curled up in what Clarke recognized as Madi’s jacket, was a tiny squirrel, so small it’s eyes weren’t even open. “Can I keep it?”

Harper stood behind Madi and mouthed sorry as she backed away slowly, setting a bag of food on the table quietly. Clarke laughed, knowing it could have been worse. Once Madi tried to keep a raccoon, a full-grown raccoon, that she managed to catch with her jump rope. 

“Honey, I don’t know how equipped we are to take care of a baby that small.” Clarke was trying to appeal to the reasonable side of her daughter, but she outwitted her.

“But I was a tiny baby once, right? And you took care of me.” Madi wasn’t trying to be a smartass, she genuinely thought it was a good argument, Clarke could tell by the way she scrunched her nose. 

“You were a baby human, not a squirrel.”

“Same thing, they’re both man-mals.”

“Mammals. And they are very different, love. I spent months learning how to take care of you before you arrived.” 

“But it will die!” Madi was nearing tears, and Clarke knelt down to pull her into a tight embrace.

“Hey, hey, listen to me. Are you listening?” She waited for Madi to nod before leaning back so she could look her in the eyes. “How about we take him with us to the park and I will do some research on where we can take him, while you play on the playground?”

Madi swiped the backs of her hands across her eyes and sniffled, contemplating the proposal. “You promise to keep him warm and safe?”

“Promise.” 

“Okay. Can we go after we eat?” The preschooler was darting her gaze back and forth between the food bag and the shoebox, clearly debating which was more important at the moment.

“I think we can do that.”

  
  


True to her word, Clarke found herself babysitting the tiny squirrel while Madi continued building her unexpectedly still intact bunker under the monkey bars. There was no sign of her new friends, but Clarke had warned her daughter that they may not make it that day. The sun was high in the sky behind her, making the day just as warm as the one before. She glanced down at the little bundle tucked against her chest (she may have given in to the cuteness and wrapped the baby squirrel up like a burrito to snuggle) and she pulled out her phone. How hard could it be to find a rehab facility for a squirrel?

She was scrolling through the Google search and marvelling at the shockingly large number of people willing to rehab squirrels when she felt a presence behind her.

“You should put it back where you found it. If it is meant to survive, it will.”

Clarke over her shoulder, and was temporarily blinded by the eclipse that was Miss Lexa. The blonde couldn't help but think how much she looked like a goddess come to Earth at that moment. Miss Lexa was in her sunglasses again but her hair was loose around her shoulders, dark brown tresses that shone in the sun.

“You have hair.” _‘Really, Clarke? That’s what came out of your mouth?’_

Miss Lexa seemed not to notice the odd statement, her gaze following the trio of kids she brought with her that rushed past Clarke’s bench on their way to the bunker. The brunette didn’t look down as she spoke again, oblivious. “It is better to let it die in the wild by a predator if that is what nature intended than for it to suffer a slow death by incompetent hands.” 

Clarke frowned a bit, unconsciously stroking the squirrel burrito. “That’s a bit harsh.”

“Life is harsh, Miss Clarke.” The way Miss Lexa said her name made Clarke shiver, the hard ‘k’ echoing loudly in her ears. Clarke twisted forward, no response coming immediately to mind. “May I sit?”

“Of course! Sorry, let me move my bag and the squirrel box.” Clarke shifted the squirrel burrito to one hand and roughly set her belongings on the ground at her feet, the box dropping with a hollow thunk. Miss Lexa rounded the bench and sat on the far end, back straight, crossed one leg over the over, and set her hands folded in her lap. Clarke tried not to stare. She’d never seen someone in real life sit so properly, it was unnerving. Miss Lexa looked as if she’d be more at home on a throne than a park bench at a playground.

“May I see?” The brunette motioned to the baby squirrel, holding out her hands in the same manner you would to receive a newborn. Clarke leaned away slightly, not entirely trusting the other woman.

“You’re not going to kill it, are you? Cause I’m not in the mood to have to explain that to my daughter.” Clarke pressed the squirrel burrito to her own chest and absently pet it’s tiny head.

“Of course not. I am not a monster.” To Miss Lexa’s credit, she did seem genuinely offended that Clarke would think she would kill the small creature. “I simply wish to give it a once over, that is all.”

Clarke gingerly handed it over, observing the tender way the other woman handled the baby squirrel, unwrapping the cloth and examining every inch.

“I do not see any injury. Where did you find this?” She re-wrapped the squirrel and returned it to Clarke, who tucked it against her chest.

“Madi found it a few hours ago in a storm drain. Don’t ask me why she was in there, I have no idea.” 

“Was she alone?”

“Whoa, no! That’s not what I meant. She was with her aunt on a walk and she probably dropped one of her toys down there. She is very opposed to littering and there is no way she would have left her toy. Or the squirrel.” Clarke knew that Madi could be a little mischievous but she was still a pretty good kid who cared about all creatures and the Earth. 

They sat in silence for almost half an hour after that, Clarke periodically checking that the squirrel was still alive and that work hadn’t called her in a panic again. Miss Lexa kept her watch on the kids, acknowledging them when they called out to her, and accepting their jackets into her lap as they were stripped off. Clarke found herself studying the brunette, something strangely calming about being near her. She wore a fitted light green button-up with the sleeves rolled halfway up her forearms, black slacks that tapered inward at the ankles, and simple black ankle boots with a slight heel. Every time Miss Lexa adjusted in her seat, Clarke made a mental picture of how her lithe but muscular form moved, shamelessly tucking the images in a folder in head for later. Being single meant using her imagination sometimes and after almost five years, she was not above thinking about people she knew.

“I did not mean to offend you. I am finished with my duties at the Collins at five, I can take the animal then if you would like.” Miss Lexa’s eyes briefly darted to the side, making quick contact with Clarke’s before returning to the children. Clarke was not expecting that kind of offer and didn’t know what to say back. When it was clear she wasn’t getting a response, Miss Lexa continued. “My best friend runs a small animal rehab a ways out of town. I am merely offering to take the squirrel to her since you seem set on keeping it alive.”

Clarke let out a large breath through her mouth, and laughed. “Oh, thank god. Maybe work on how you phrase things, you sounded a little creepy there at first.”

“My apologies, sometimes nerves get the better of me and I do not express my thoughts correctly.” Clarke was focused on the brunette’s mouth as she spoke but didn’t miss the way her cheeks reddened slightly and her hands began to fidget. _‘Nerves?’_

“No worries, it’s fine. It’s endearing actually.” Clarke smiled, hoping to put the other woman at ease. “And that would be great. Are you sure it’s no trouble? I don’t want you to have to go out of your way.” 

“It is no trouble, I don’t have many things to do this evening. I can text you when I am leaving the Collins residence to meet with you wherever you think is appropriate.” Miss Lexa started folding the discarded jackets that sat between them, not looking Clarke in the face. The blonde wasn’t sure she heard right. _‘Did she just use a contraction? And ask for my number?’_

“Uh yeah, sure. I can write my number down for you. Can you..” She gestured toward the squirrel burrito and Miss Lexa carefully took the bundle from her. Clarke bent over and rummaged in her bag, grabbing the first paper and writing implement she came across. “A crayon and a grocery receipt will have to do! And anytime is fine, I don’t have plans tonight.”

_‘Way to make yourself sound lame, Clarke.’_

They traded squirrel for paper and settled back into silence. Twenty minutes later, they went their separate ways, respective kids in tow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Clarke (5:34pm): Hey just wanted to check if you were still planning to get the squirrel? We are at home so you could just swing by here if it’s not too much trouble.**

**Lexa (5:37pm): Yes, of course. Mr. and Mrs. Collins did not get home until a few minutes ago, but I would be happy to come by shortly.**

**Clarke (5:38pm): Great! I’ll send you the address. See you soon!**

“Wait. Weird nanny is coming here?” Raven was in the kitchen unpacking the grocery bags as Madi and Clarke brought them inside. Madi was determined to carry as many as she could at a time, often resulting in a squashed loaf of bread or a busted bag of chips. Before she ran out to get more every time, she would sneak a peek in the shoebox at the baby squirrel to make sure it was okay. Clarke huffed as she set a 24-pack of Coke on the counter, cursing her roommate’s addiction. She never would have told Raven about the nanny if her brain hadn’t been so rattled by the whole encounter.

“Yes. And don’t call her that, she’s… nice?” Clarke started whisking items off the counters and into their proper spots. Raven let out a short laugh.

“Is that a question? You don’t know if she’s nice and you’re letting her come to our home?” 

Clarke paused. She really didn’t know if the nanny was nice. She really didn’t know anything about her, other than she was pleasant to Madi’s friends and her best friend owns an animal rehabilitation center. That was it. _‘And she has really nice hair. And arms. And lips.’_

“It’s not like it’s a social call, Rave. She’s just picking up the squirrel and that’s it. I’m not even going to invite her in or anything.” The blonde buried her head in the pantry, trying to wait out the blush that had formed on her cheeks. When she didn’t hear a snarky retort, she pulled back to find Raven studying her intently. Suddenly, a wicked smile overtook her best friend’s face.

“She’s hot, isn’t she.”

Clarke didn’t say anything back, which she knew in Raven’s eyes would be a confirmation.

“She is! Oh my god, Clarke! This is great. She’s hot, dresses well, is at least tolerant of Satan’s spawn over there-” Raven ticked off the qualities on her fingers with a grin.

“I heard that! And it’s not nice to call Mommy Satan.” Madi mirrored Raven’s grin as they high-fived and Clarke rolled her eyes. Sometimes she felt like she had two kids instead of one.

“Har-Har, very funny you. Are those all the groceries from the car?” 

“Yep. Can Aunt Raven and I go play in the backyard until dinner?” Madi was already tugging open the sliding door to the fenced-in yard, Raven following after with a scheming look.

“That’s fine, but no more holes today okay? I’m trying to grow grass again this year.” Clarke hollered through the open window in the kitchen that faced the backyard. She pulled out the ingredients to make Madi’s favorite chicken parmesan and stared out at the little girl she had centered her world around for the last five years as Raven helped her build some sort of contraption out of scrap metal.

From the moment she heard Madi’s little heartbeat thumping away, Clarke knew she couldn’t just keep surviving day-to-day, she had to find a way to _live_ and thrive. She was a junior at the time, majoring in Art and Design at Polis Arts and Sciences University, but she knew that she couldn’t support a kid as a starving artist. So she’d picked up a Marketing and Advertising major, taking as many classes as she could during the spring semester when she was still able to comfortably sit in those tiny lecture seats. In the summer she had taken the max load of classes again, the heat making it nearly unbearable as she got larger and more planet-like, but she had made it through with passing grades. With Madi set to arrive early in the fall semester, Clarke made sure she was left with online classes she could do at her own pace and only two in-person classes she could take once Madi was a bit older. 

Life hadn’t been easy those first few years. Her mom had wanted nothing to do with both of them and Clarke had leaned heavily on Raven and Harper, and eventually Monty, to keep her sane and healthy. Raven held her as she cried herself to sleep for the first six months, when it was all she could do to keep Madi fed and clean, and schoolwork seemed pretty much impossible. The dark brunette all but insisted on moving in with them and took over household duties like cleaning, errands, and repairs to lessen the stress. Harper made sure she had time to study and do her schoolwork, even going so far as to stay late into the night, rocking the baby to sleep and keeping Clarke motivated, while still accomplishing her own degree in Business Administration. When he found out that Clarke hadn’t really set up a room for the baby and Madi was just sleeping in a hand-me-down pack-n-play, Monty and his friend Jasper had bought and built the nursery furniture (with Raven supervising), and even painted the room a forest green color with big trees and fake branches and vines that hung from the ceiling. They’d locked the door for two weeks so she couldn’t peek before it was finished and Clarke cried a million happy tears when they at last showed her, thanking them with a promise to always buy the pizza for game nights. There was a framed picture that hung in Madi’s room of the five of them circled around the little bundle that was Madi, sleeping in her crib for the first time. 

Through it all, her friends had become her family and they looked after her daughter as if she was their flesh and blood too.

A sharp knock at the door broke her from her reverie and she looked down, surprised to find she had almost finished preparing dinner. Sliding the breaded chicken into the oven, she washed her hands quickly and looked around for a dish towel. “Fuck, I need to do laundry.”

She took a deep breath, adjusting her least favorite bra for the eightieth time that day, and headed to the foyer. There was a sliver of brown hair visible through the half-moon window at the top of the heavy front door and Clarke rested her fingers on the door handle for a few seconds to gain some composure, then pulled it open with a smile.

There she was, in all her unfairly attractive glory, sunglasses still perched on her nose and a small tote under one arm. Clarke was so busy trying not to ogle the woman, that she didn’t notice Miss Lexa gesturing at her chest.

“You have… Your…” Miss Lexa motioned again and that time Clarke looked down to see a very obvious water handprint on her left breast where she had adjusted herself prior. 

“Oh, shit. That’s just water. My hands were wet and I forgot and then I had to fix my bra because the one I have on is a bit too small and I keep meaning to throw it out but it was the first expensive one I bought for myself as an adult after Madi was born and I am rambling about my bra. I’m gonna stop now.” Clarke could feel her cheeks turning bright red and she was half-hoping a comet would drop out of the sky and crush her. She closed her eyes and reminded her body to breathe. “Let’s start again. Hey Miss Lexa, please come in!”

The brunette’s stoic face turned into a small smile and she nodded, stepping into the foyer past Clarke. “Hello to you as well, and it’s just Lexa. ‘Miss Lexa’ has quite a different connotation coming from you.”

Clarke was stunned. _‘Did- did she just make a sex joke? No. No way.’_

Lexa just continued to smile, giving Clarke zero indication of the statement’s intention. The nanny slowly took off her sunglasses, folding them up and stashing them in her tote. Clarke thought she might just die. Lexa’s eyes were a brilliant shade of green, her button-up only enhancing the color even in the dimming light of the foyer. Clarke could get lost in those eyes and she felt another little twinge of something in the back of her mind.

“So…” Lexa shifted her tote from one shoulder to the other.

“So.” Clarke continued to gaze into that emerald abyss, feeling heat in a completely different place than her face.

“The squirrel?” The nanny broke her eyes away and began looking around, presumably for the shoebox.

“Right! Right. Sorry. It’s in the kitchen, this way.” The blonde forced herself to turn away, and led Lexa down the hall and into the open kitchen/living room space. “He’s been okay, I tried to give him a little puppy formula like Google said, but he only ate a little bit.”

Lexa merely nodded and surveyed the little squirrel as she had before at the park. “He seems to be in good health. With any luck, Anya will be able to release him into the wild in a few weeks and he can live a happy, free life.”

“Anya’s not a crazy person, is she?” Clarke asked as she crossed the kitchen to stir the sauce for dinner which was bubbling and threatening to burn. Lexa chuckled from her place by the shoebox on the table. It was such a normal sound that Clarke was startled by the brunette for a second time in less than fifteen minutes.

“Of course not, Clarke. I have known Anya for a long time. She is a bit rough around the edges to people, but when it comes to animals, there is no limit to her compassion. I once saw her spend months caring for a litter of newborn fox cubs whose mother was hit by a car, teaching them to hunt and hide and burrow. She taught them to be wary of people, though they never really left home, and now they all still live within a five mile radius of her compound. Every so often you can see one come to check in with her.” Lexa’s voice took on a soft quality, and Clarke could hear the love Lexa had for Anya. She hated that she felt a tiny bit jealous.

“Don’t tell Madi, that would be her dream life. Living with a bunch of different animals on a large compound, taking care of them and nature. I’ll be lucky to keep her from running off there the minute she hears.” Clarke wasn’t kidding. Only a month before, Madi had tried to convince Raven to drive her to the local zoo to ‘see the animals’ but Raven saw the large net she had somehow gotten a hold of stuffed in her backpack and put a stop to that. When asked about it, Madi said she thought one of the tigers looked sad last time they went and she wanted to bring him home to play.

“Miss Lexa!” The four-year-old came rushing in, nearly bowling the brunette woman over in the process and wrapping her arms around Lexa’s legs. “You’re here!”

Lexa looked startled to say the least, but recovered quickly and patted Madi on the back gently. “Oh, hello there! How are you this evening?”

“Great! Raven and I built a signal tower so we can hear people from all over! Want to see?” Madi pointed to her aunt, who was making her way inside, wiping down her favorite adjustable wrench as she walked. She looked up at the mention of her name, the greasy rag stilling halfway up the handle, clearly not expecting to see the nanny in the kitchen. The two stare at each other, a look of almost recognition passing over Raven’s face.

“Do I know you?” Raven said with not quite as much snark as usual and Lexa tilted her head to the side a little in thought.

“Maybe? I used to live around here while I was in college but moved away for a job until recently. Were you in the Mechanical Engineering program at Polis?” Lexa ventured, Madi still attempting to pull her toward the back door.

“I was. You were in my Ethics of Technological Advancement class right? With, oh what was her name, that bat shit crazy prodigy professor..” Raven absently started cleaning her wrench again and looked off, trying to recall a name.

“Dr. Franko. She was something. Nice to see you again.” Lexa succeeded in slowing Madi to a stop just before they reached the back door, and she smiled at Raven, who began glancing between the other brunette and Clarke. “Hold up, you’re the hot nanny?”

Clarke had thought many times about murdering Raven, but never as seriously as in that moment.

“The what?”

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Saved by the timer, Clarke whirled around to grab the chicken out and place it on the hot pad to cool, thankful for the distraction. Madi appeared next to her in a flash, the call of food successfully diverting her attention away from Lexa and her radio tower. “Is that chicken parmesan?! Did you make the angle bear noodles?”

“Angel hair, and yes.” Clarke laughed and nudged the little girl toward the kitchen island. “Can you please get out the silverware and set the table?”

Madi nodded and rushed over to the silverware drawer, pulling it out roughly and picking out three big forks and one kid fork. As she set them on the table in front of the four different seats, Raven frowned. “What are you doing Madi? Why do you have four forks out?”

The girl went back to the drawer and pulled out three adult knives and a kid knife and did the same before turning to the grown-ups with a smile. “Isn’t Miss Lexa staying for dinner?”

Raven and Clarke traded shrugs, turning to the woman in question. Lexa stared at the ground and then the baby squirrel. “I really should get the animal to Anya before he becomes too weak to save. My apologies, little one.”

And just like that, the relaxed version of Lexa Clarke had started to see peek through the solemn mask was shoved back down, and prim and proper Miss Lexa was back. Madi made as if to protest but Clarke gave her daughter a hard look, and the girl withdrew the extra utensils with a pout. The blonde hated to see her upset, so she said the first thing she could think of. “Maybe Miss Lexa can bring the girls over next week one afternoon and we can all eat lunch together.”

Madi instantly brightened, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “YES! Can you? Please?!”

The nanny froze in her motions to pick up the shoebox, all eyes on her again. There was the briefest of moments where Clarke thought she saw something akin to fear flash across Lexa’s eyes, only to see them turn blank once more. Lexa finished arranging the shoebox to sit in the crook of her arm and brushed off her pants of the little dirt Madi had gotten on them, clearing her throat. “I suppose we could arrange that. I can text your mother to set up a date. A playdate, I mean.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow at the slip and Raven smirked from her place by the table, barely stifling a giggle. Madi took no notice of the odd grown-up behavior, sneaking long noodles out of the colander in the sink when she thought her mom wasn’t looking. 

“I should go ahead and take the squirrel now. It was good to see you all again.” Lexa backed down the hall and let herself out the front door, and no sooner had the door shut behind her than Raven burst into a fit of laughter.

“For fucks’ sake, just bang her already!” Raven wiped tears from her eyes, making little effort to stop mocking her best friend.

“Shut up Raven! I barely know her.” Clarke scolded as she filled the dinner plates and brought them to the table. Madi looked at the two of them thoughtfully as her plate was set in front of her.

“What does ‘bang’ mean?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I know I've been updating quickly and I do want to keep a good pace, but the wife and I will be going to Vegas for four days (without the kids! yay!) so I will try to update before then. I have this entire thing mapped out already and know how I want it all to go so I will not be abandoning this haha Also, there will be a time where you get to see what Lexa is thinking through all of this :)  
> As always, you guys humble me!  
> ta!  
> Leila


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work Work Work Work Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> The wife and I had a great trip to vegas, here's chapter four, five will be up soon!  
> Ta!  
> Leila

Monday morning came all too fast and Clarke was not keen on spending another week dealing with the Wallaces. She’d gotten emails all weekend from her team about deadlines and work plans, and on top of all that, she’d been having increasingly graphic dreams about a certain nanny that have left her with no option but to take cold showers and deep breaths. 

Madi had spent all Saturday with Harper and Monty at the pier, riding the rides and playing games, eating until she puked and having the time of her little life, and Clarke spent the time in her studio, painting and drawing until her hands hurt. She rarely got time to create new art and when she did, it was a flurry of activity, needing to get it all out so the ideas didn’t get stuck or worse, lost forever. The next day was calmer; Clarke made a big brunch like she did every Sunday and her friends came over for alcohol and good food. Monty, Raven, Jasper, and Madi snuck off at some point to work on the radio tower in the backyard; Jasper singing oldies songs terribly at the top of his lungs while he and Monty thought up cool radio handles for when it was up and running, Raven and Madi working diligently to make it structurally sound and operational. Clarke stayed inside with Harper and Jasper’s girlfriend, Maya, swapping stories about their work weeks and pounding mimosas like it was their last day on Earth. As the sun set that evening, Monty carried a snoring Madi into the house, her head lolling side-to-side on his shoulder, her face covered in grease and dirt but a smile fixed on her features. Clarke had always had a small nagging in her heart that something was missing, but she could never say her life wasn’t full of love and happiness. If she never found that missing piece, she thought she still could be content as she was, as they were on those Sundays when the outside world disappeared and the only things that mattered were the sounds of her friends laughing and who was going to end up soaked in the water battle that would inevitably happen when it came time to clean up the kitchen. 

But Monday always came in like a blaze, reminding her that every happy time has a price. Her price came in the form of a nasty phone confrontation early in the afternoon with Wallace Jr about billboard costs that left her with a pounding migraine.

“Here, take these before you pass out on me.” Clarke looked up from trying to bury her eyes in her palms to see Harper’s arms outstretched, two little white pills in her left hand and a glass of water in her right. She grabbed them slowly, popping the pills into her mouth and downing a large gulp of water.

“You’re too good for all of us, you know that? You and Monty both. It’s like you exist just to show how messed up the rest of us really are.” Clarke folded her arms across her chest and closed her eyes, praying the medicine would work fast. She had another meeting in half an hour and this one included broody boy Finn, who’s crap she was not in the mood for. 

“Oh please, you guys aren’t _that_ bad.” Harper walked to the door of Clarke’s office laughing. “Let me know if you want me to pick up Madi today, I know Raven is working a double to cover for Sinclair.”

“I should be fine as long as Finn doesn’t make this last meeting absolute hell. I never should have gone on a date with him. Or a second one. It was bad enough before when he was new and wanted to be involved in _every_ decision made around here, but now he’s pouty too.” Clarke sighed and started pulling together the documents she was going to need for the meeting. 

“If only there had been a friend to tell you what a bad idea it was to date co-workers…” Harper sang as she traipsed out the door.

“Hush! You don’t get to talk Miss ‘That IT guy is cute I think I’ll _marry_ him!’” she hollered after her friend, hearing only cackles in return. It wasn’t really a fair comparison, Harper and Monty had known each other for years before the three of them started working at Arkadia. Still, it made Clarke feel better.

“Please can we go? Please, Mommy? I promise to eat all my dinner and be really good for bath time!” Madi laced her hands together and begged for the hundredth time since being picked up from Harper and Monty’s house ten minutes before. She had ended up taking Harper’s offer after all when the meeting ran long, Finn being next to impossible to pull information from regarding whether the master prints were finished or not for the grocery store campaign.

“Madi, we don’t have time today. It’s already almost six and it’s not like Miss Lexa will be there with the girls anyway, right? They only stay until four-ish. Besides, we are supposed to make homemade challah bread tonight, unless you’ve changed your mind?” Clarke looked at her daughter in the rearview mirror while she idled at a stoplight. She knew Madi had forgotten it was new recipe night, a thing Clarke had started when Madi was around one in order to expose all three of the people in their house to new and fun foods. That night they were making savory challah breads, adding cheeses and meat crumbles and sauces to the top of the bread after twisting it, and then they would decide who made the best one. 

“Fine.” The little girl crossed her arms dramatically and stuck out her bottom lip. Clarke let out a small chuckle. She didn’t know where that pout came from but it was adorable, and she almost relented. Almost.

“You’ll live, baby girl. I can text Miss Lexa when we get home and see if she still wants to do a playdate this week, okay?” Clarke turned into their neighborhood, giving a slight wave to a neighbor mowing his lawn who was always a little too friendly whenever Clarke ran into him on the sidewalk. Bill Cadogan just had a creepy vibe about him and Clarke was 100% sure that he would be the next Manson if given the opportunity. His daughter, on the other hand, was the opposite of her father and the blonde had been debating asking Callie to join them for the next Sunday brunch. _‘Maybe I’ll invite Lexa, too’_

She pondered the idea the rest of the drive home, ultimately making no decision on either and choosing to consult her more discerning roommate first. “Ready to eat whatever monstrosity Raven turns her challah into?”

Madi’s pout upturned the slightest bit at the mention of food and she nodded, her little hands working the buckles keeping her strapped in. When she freed herself, she climbed over the center console between the front seats and into her mother’s lap. “Okay, we’re home. Can we text Miss Lexa now?”

“Geez kid, eager much? You just saw your friends on Friday.” Clarke pulled her phone out of its place in the cupholder and unlocked the screen, a split picture of newborn Madi and three-year-old Madi adorning her background. Opening the text conversation, she started a new message, saying the words aloud since they were still working on the whole reading thing.

**Clarke (5:49pm): Hey, are you still available for a playdate this week? Madi is very excited to hang out with you guys again. We are around in the afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays usually, but I can get off work early any day and work from home. Let me know!**

“How is that?” She looked down at her daughter, her little face scrunched up in thought.

“Aren’t you excited to hang out with Miss Lexa, too? She’s very pretty.” Madi asked innocently.

“I guess I am. Why?” She was curious as to her daughter’s sudden interest in Clarke’s choice of friends.

“You should say we’re both excited then!” Madi tapped the screen and found her name and replaced it with ‘we’ instead. Clarke giggled and tapped the screen again.

“Then we have to change the ‘is’ to ‘are’ since now there’s more than one thing being talked about.” She knew that lessons like that still went a little above Madi’s head, but she was a firm believer in explaining things like that as early as possible so it’s not an issue later. She let Madi press the send button and hoisted the girl out of the car with her. “Inside we go, Raven is waiting!”

Raven went out after dinner to meet some of her work friends at a bar and Clarke spent her time after Madi went to bed checking her work email and attempting to read her book again. Lexa responded later that night, apologizing for not getting back to Clarke sooner. After assuring the nanny that it was fine, they settled on Wednesday afternoon around one and Lexa insisted on bringing lunch for everyone. She asked if there was anything she or Madi didn’t eat or like (the answer being coconut for both and that’s about it), but otherwise didn’t give any details on what she would be bringing. They said goodnight and Clarke fell asleep only to be sucked back into the vivid dreams of late.

_She was at some sort of party in a large open room, familiar faces passing by as she walked through the crowds, some from college and some from various other times in her life. There was her high school debate team co-chair, Bellamy Blake, in a green and red suit with flashing lights embedded in the lapels of his jacket, sipping a beer with his own face on it. His little sister, Octavia, skipped by shortly after in an obscenely short plaid skirt and an ugly Christmas sweater, carrying a large linked chain like it was nothing. Clarke moved on, the air becoming foggy as she went, the room less defined, and the people became less and less clear. She thought she saw Monty and Harper sitting inside a giant punchbowl, ladling purple liquid over each other. The space narrowed suddenly, and Clarke found herself approaching a sizable vehicle, and a figure appeared by the side mirror. It was Lexa, or at least a blurry version of her, leaned back on the wheel well and smiling? Her mouth opened to say something to the blonde but Raven’s voice came out._

_“Clarke. Clarke. CLARKE.”_

“Clarke!” Raven was practically straddling her on the bed.

“Jesus Raven! What do you want? Its-” Clarke peered through cracked eyes at her phone’s bright screen. “2:18 in the morning!” 

“Sorry but I’m excited and I have to tell someone! I met a girl, a smoking hot girl, and I’m pretty sure she thought I was hot, too.” Raven’s eyes got a far-away look and she leaned her weight backward to sit on Clarke’s thighs. The blonde rolled her eyes and huffed.

“Does she have a name?” Clarke asked, knowing her best friend had a tendency to forget details like that. Raven glared at Clarke and crossed her arms.

“Of course she does! It’s… It’s… Aw fuck, I forgot to get her name!” The dark brunette threw up her hands and continued cursing, casually switching to Spanish at some point.

“Well, I’m sure you will meet again if it’s meant to be. Now, please for the love of Hedy Lamarr, get off me and go to bed. You reek of tequila.” Clarke lightly shoved Raven, who dramatically fell off her and onto the empty side of the bed, where she proceeded to strip off her shirt and pants, slip under the covers, and snuggle into Clarke’s side. She laid her head on Clarke’s shoulder and hummed. Clarke sighed knowing it was futile to try to move her now. Raven lifted her head just a little and squinted at the blonde.

“Were you dreaming about hot nanny again?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Go to sleep.”

  
  


Tuesday started well; Madi went to preschool without a hitch and there were no urgent or panicked messages waiting for Clarke when she stepped into her office. Harper reminded her of her two afternoon meetings, one with the Wallaces and then one with the executive at a non-profit kids organization, which she felt more than ready to handle. She spent the morning hours checking over work and prepping new advertisements to go to the printers, then she and Harper shared theories about Hot Nanny while stuffing their faces with tacos.

“Knock, Knock. Clarke, it’s time. Dante Wallace’s driver just messaged to let us know they were five minutes away. Do you want me to get everyone set in the conference room?” Her co-worker Jackson leaned against the doorframe to her office, one foot crossed over the other at the ankle. Clarke shook her head.

“Just Finn, Monroe, and yourself. No need to subject the whole office to that kind of negativity unnecessarily.” She stood up and joined Jackson at the door, sweeping her eyes over her office for anything she forgot to grab. Satisfied, she motioned for Jackson to go on ahead of her, and walked briskly behind him, praying the whole way that the meeting would go even a little bit okay.

“But you said that the billboards would only cost $2000 each per month, now it’s $6000?!” Cage Wallace scrunched up his rodent-like face and whined like a child. The other inhabitants of the room sighed; they’d been at this an hour already.

“That was when you wanted regular print billboards. Digital billboards usually cost more than twice as much as print ones. We talked about this already; it’s one of the reasons we originally advised your father to go with print over digital, in order to save on cost.” Jackson patiently explained for the tenth time that meeting. He was in charge of financial tracking and was tasked with keeping projects on budget.

“But your company is known for digital billboards! We want to do those!” Cage’s voice was getting higher pitched as he spoke, his demeanor becoming more and more like a child who just can’t understand why they aren’t getting what they want.

“And we told you we can do the digital ones, but they come at a higher cost. They require more maintenance and upkeep, as well as constant power supply and program maintenance.” Monroe piped up, a rare occurrence in a meeting but Clarke had seen the woman come out of her shell lately. “On the plus side, with digital you can run multiple ads on the same screen, adjusting for time of day and people likely to be around.” 

Cage stopped pacing behind the table and folded his arms, putting one hand on his chin. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Finn had yet to say a word the whole meeting, but the shock of Cage Wallace finally agreeing to do what was planned must have been enough to bring him out of his perpetually dower mood.

“Yes. Okay. We should proceed immediately. Don’t you agree, Dad?” The younger Wallace turned to his father, who also had been silent for the duration of the meeting, watching the others with a disarming look. Wallace Sr nodded slowly, before standing and offering his hand to Clarke, who rose to meet him.

“We’re in agreement. It has been a pleasure as always, though my son and I must be on our way. I will have my people sign whatever paperwork is necessary to proceed.” The white-haired man shook her hand firmly and then directed his son by the shoulders out of the room and into the reception area, stopping to bid Harper goodbye as well.

Clarke slumped back into her chair, already feeling the weight of the day, when she noticed Finn hadn't gotten up to leave with everyone else. His eyes were boring into her and she wished he would either talk or leave. He cleared his throat and she glanced over at him.

“So, I was thinking about going to that new museum that opened downtown. It’s supposed to have a great contemporary art section. Would you want to go too?” His voice was light and hopeful, and it could not have annoyed Clarke more.

“Finn, I told you no. I’m not interested in dating anyone right now.” She was firm, and working very hard not to betray how irritated she actually was. He opened his mouth a few times as if to say more, but Clarke didn’t give him the chance and exited the office without so much as a backwards glance.

Her second meeting was late and Clarke was just about to leave the conference room, when in walked a tall black man, with kind eyes and a soft voice. “I am very sorry I am late, I am usually very punctual, I had an emergency with one of my kids. I'm Lincoln Woods, I run Stronger Kids Kru.”

Clarke appraised him and nodded. “Clarke Griffin, nice to meet you. And that’s alright, I know how it is to have to deal with a kid emergency. I hope your child is okay?”

“Oh, no, he’s not mine, he’s one of the foster kids I work with. He was just taken back into the system for the third and hopefully last time, and I like to be the first person to greet returning kids. A familiar face can go a long way.” His features turned sorrowful, as if speaking from experience. “We try to do all we can to make these kids’ lives as enriched as possible for as long as they are with us, which is why we are hosting a fundraiser. We want to build a new foster center, like a group home, but with more than just beds and a kitchen. A place the kids can call home always, that has the ability to provide as close to a normal childhood as we can give them.”

Clarke was trying not to give in to her sudden urge to hug the man, his passion stirring up something inside that made her want to help however she could. They had a large pro bono budget, and Clarke had a feeling she was going to use a good portion of it helping the foster center come to life. “So how can we help?” 

“The fundraiser will mean nothing if we can’t get people to show up and donate. My non-profit is pairing with another local non-profit to dual host the event, the proceeds going to both groups. The land I want to build on is located right next to the other non-profit and we are hoping to collaborate in the future to enrich both sides.” He starts sketching on a piece of scrap paper. There are a few squares he labels ‘barn’ ‘farmhouse’ and ‘pasture’, plus a large circular area he labels ‘grassy free space’ next to the double lines to represent the road. “Now I know you are mainly a marketing company, but I looked you up specifically, Ms. Griffin, and I found out you used to be a party planner? I was hoping to not only hire your company to do the advertisement for the fundraiser, but possibly get you to help plan the layout of everything? If not, it’s okay.”

“Clarke, call me Clarke.” She studied his rudimentary drawing and thought about her workload. The Wallace campaign was well in hand, and they only had a few smaller contracts at the moment. _‘What the hell, I could use the good karma in my life, plus I can try to get Madi involved so she can see the value of volunteering.’_

“I’ll need a lot more information about the type of event and all the details. What is the other group?” She began cycling through different fundraiser possibilities, wondering what kind of event he was picturing.

“It’s an animal rehab facility run by one of my oldest friends. We were actually in foster care together as kids and reconnected in the last few years. She wants to start a kids program to teach about safely interacting with wild animals and how to help injured animals, and she is going to let all the foster kids take the program for free. We are also going to have the kids that live in the new center help take care of the animals that live on the compound permanently, as well as the ones that are only there until they are strong enough to release.” He starts a list on a different scrap of paper, detailing the two different non-profits and how they are hoping to interact and improve one another.

“Sounds ambitious.” Clarke levelled a smile towards the enthusiastic man, whose face was starting to fall the longer Clarke stayed quiet. “But I think it’s doable. Today we need to focus on fleshing out the event details so we can work on an advertising plan.”

He brightened up and Clarke found herself actually excited to work on a project in what seemed like years.


End file.
